Today is my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I decided to link up with Shell over a Things I Can't Say, so please be kind! Growing up it didn't take me long to realize that my parents were different from most people. That their marriage was different from most marriages. They are truly in love and are the best of friends. Most importantly, they don't fight. Period. Often people try to tell me that they just didn't fight infront of us kids. My reply to that has always been you don't know my parents. They.didn't.fight. Sure they bickered. But that was about it. They made marriage look easy. I couldn't wait to grow up and get married.
They did everything together and with us kids. Everything was about being a family and spending time together. They did have friends and occasionally they went out with them. But for the most part I remember it being just our family. On the weekends we were either renting movies or going to the movies. Movies have always been a favorite family pass time. We didn't have very much money, so it was usually the dollar movies. As a child I didn't think anything of it. It didn't matter, we were going to the movies. Mom always had her "mom bag" full of sodas and candy. She LOVES popcorn, so that's the one real splurge we got to get at the movies. To this day I love going to the movies, especially with my family.
I think one of the most important lessons my parents taught me was their love of each other. They taught me by example. I learned from my mother how to be a wife. I learned from my father how a man should treat a woman. One thing I had to learn on my own was that my marriage was different from my parents. It didn't make it any less special or important. It just made it mine. I had to find my own kind of happiness. I think I've had to work harder at it, because I didn't know that marriage took such hard work. Not to mention, I've had to learn that the world doesn't go according to what Buffee wants. In the last year I've really made an honest effort to be a better person. To try and put others before myself. (I'm still struggling with this, but I've come a long way). Luckily for me I have a husband that motivates me to be a better person. I know that may sound strange to the people that know William. He's a self admitted asshole, (he really is), but once you get past his tough exterior, he's a loyal, loving, hard working, and compassionate lover. He would do anything for anyone, as long as you don't cross him. In that sense, he's like me and my father!
As an adult and having had many conversations with my mother over the years, I've realized that they had to work at it too. My mom sat me down one day and was like look Buffee, if you don't learn to get past the small things, you'll never be happy. I'm OCD, so this has been a HUGE problem for me. I would obsess over the most retarded stuff. Like the kitchen cabinets being left open. Or his dirty socks being left all over the house. Or my shampoo and conditioner facing in the wrong direction. (Not.even.kidding). All of our fights have been over stupid crap that in the grand scheme of things really don't even matter.
Then one day I just told myself, be happy Buffee. Your life is what YOU make of it. Only Buffee can make Buffee happy. Life happens. Nothing goes according to plan. It just happens and you have to make the most of it. I think that's the real lesson my parents were trying to teach me from the very beginning. I'm just slow to catch on sometimes. We were poor, but we had each other, and we were a family. And for the most part I remember being happy.
I'd like to share a poem I wrote for my parents on their 35th wedding anniversary. Once you read it, you'll understand what I mean when I say I'm not a writer. I was just inspired by my parents, their marriage, and love for each other.
Thirty-five of marital bliss,
And still everyday begins with a kiss.
He was a mountain man, rugged and strong,
She was a southern girl, with a beautiful song.
They had a short courtship, just a few weeks,
And now the type of love that everyone seeks.
What began with a sacred temple marriage,
Delivered them four to the baby carriage.
Garage selling is one of their favorite pass times,
They find all their treasures for nickels and dimes!
They always make time to go out on dates,
Sweethearts and lovers, the best of mates!
With time and age, he's become a tender man,
Everyone knows he's still Patti's #1 fan!
She hasn't been blessed with the greatest of health,
A fairytale love story makes up for it in wealth.
Their growing family brings them happiness and joy,
With each new grandchild and every dog toy!
Their love for each other is simple and kind,
Always keeping their eternal goal in mind.
As the days turn into years, they grown more in love,
Never forgetting to thank their Father above.
Truly an example of what marriage should be,
We're thankful to be in the "Best" family tree!
~Buffee Best Usina
So here's to my parents! For being so amazing and teaching me the importance of family, marriage, love, and being the best person I can be!