So I actually followed the rules this week! Ha! When we (FYL) talked about having a blog hop, I knew I wanted to ask Melissa aka Shaebails to guest post. She's a new to the blogging world and I adore her! She's one of my favorite twittering buds. That's actually how we met, on Twitter!
Anyway, her posts are very open and honest, heartfelt and funny. She makes me laugh and she has even made me cry. When I asked her to guest post I left the door wide open. I told her to write about anything she wanted. So I hope you read her post and adore her as much as I do. She's young and fun and her life is full of adventure. Please welcome her and show her some bloggy blog love!
Shaebails. . . .
Where do I even begin? I feel like I'm in high school again, trying to prepare a story for my creative writing class. I know everything I want to say, I'm just not sure in what order I should put it. I guess I could start from the beginning, but where does this begin?
*Siiiiiiiigh*. OK. I guess I'll just pick up where I left off. Here it goes.
I believe I left off saying that I was not attracted to Adam, and I wanted to help Trista gain the confidence that she needed in herself so she can go on with her life and stop being so negative. Well, I was wrong. About the Adam part, I mean, and it only took Trista shoving me in his direction to figure it out.
I straight up told Trista I was NOT going to go out with Adam, because, you know, SHE liked Adam and I'm living with her. Not only would me dating Adam make everything awkward, but she's my friend and I didn't want to do that to her. I repeatedly told her NO. And yet-
"Melissa, he likes you. If you hang out with him, you'll like him too. Just go out with him. I know you want to. You're both attracted to each other and I'm used to my friends dating guys I like. Please just DO IT for me?"
So, I did. That one night. And the night after that. And the next two nights that followed THAT. And you know what? Trista was right. I fell for him. It wasn't too long before we were sleeping with each other and one night he asked me if we could make it official. I said yes.
This is where everything gets complicated. While Adam and I were doing our thing, in the meantime, Trista and I were doing ours. I went with her to her annual checkup at her doctor's office, and I suggested to the doctor that Trista's depression pills aren't working because she's NOT depressed. (I only went to college for half a semester, but I was studying to be a psychologist and I still use some of the things I learned when I need to) I firmly believe that she's bipolar. Her mother is bipolar and so is her brother, and Trista just didn't fit the mold of somebody who was depressed. At times, sure she was depressed, but there were moments of elation in the mix.
So, the doctor switched her medication from Celexa to Pristique. Then I suggested to him that maybe the reason why Trista is so tired all the time and she can't lose weight was because she maybe has a problem with her thyroid. So he sent us to the lab to get some blood work done to see if she has a thyroid complication. Because that would explain alot. And you know what? If there's a problem with her thyroid, we might find that she is neither depressed nor bipolar but the problem has been her thyroid all along.
That night, I did Trista's hair and makeup and she looked BEAUTIFUL. It was the first night in my life that I could actually admit that Trista looked better than ME. We decided to go out that night and have a girl's night with me, Trista, Jesseca, and Tina. My friend Amber even showed up with her sister Maria. We were having a great night. Then my friend Kevin showed up.
Kevin and I have been friends for only a few weeks. I met him, actually, when Alex and I were seeing each other. Kevin has admitted to me dozens of times that he really likes me and wants to be more than friends. I have always thought Kevin was really good looking and he is SUCH a funny guy I honestly considered it for a while. I still do consider it even now, actually.
Well, Amber has just broken up with my ex-hubs #2, and we heard he was going to be out at a certain bar that night. So we jumped in her car to go to that bar, because we knew that if he saw us together he would shit himself. Then, my brilliant dumbass self decided it would be even MORE fun if Kevin came with us as an extra bonus to fuck with his head. So we left the bar where we were and headed to where EH was. When we got to the bar, EH had already left, so we went back to bar #1. Kevin and I were holding each other up as we walked in the door. That's when Trista texted me and said, "Adam's here. You better stop hanging all over Kevin."
I saw Adam, I said hi, and went back to talking to Kevin. Honestly, Adam knew that Kevin and I were friends and he didn't think anything of it. Then everybody started coming up to me saying, "Kevin is so much better looking than your boyfriend. You are so hot, what are you doing with THAT guy? You should date Kevin. Seriously." And then, I went outside with Kevin so he could smoke and we could talk. Adam came outside as well, and I, admittedly, ignored him and set all of my attention on Kevin. After Adam went back inside that bar, Kevin kissed me. HE KISSED ME.
Honestly, if this had been three years ago and he would have done that, I wouldn't have cared. I would have kissed him back and probably would've went home with him after that. But that was who I was then. That's not who I am now.
I was so shocked. I stood there for a while, then frantically looked around to see if Adam or anyone that knew me was outside to see that. They weren't, thank God. I was, to tell the truth, a little embarrassed, but I also felt sort of relieved, although I didn't know if that was the alcohol talking or if that was how I really felt.
Anyway, by the time the bar closed, Adam was shitfaced, and I walked him the two blocks to his house. It took 45 minutes to walk the two blocks. He kept stumbling. Then when we got to his house, he says this:
"Melissa, alot of people have said some shit to me about you. And I've been thinking...the sex is great, and I want to love you. But I don't want you to love me. I'm not that great of a guy. You don't know some of the things I've done."
So, I called Kevin and asked him to take me home. Well, Trista's home, but still.
After Kevin dropped me off, a few minutes later, Adam came to the house and told me that Trista spent all night telling him that Kevin and I left the bar together for a while and we probably fucked. She also said that Kevin and I had been fucking around for a while now and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to date Adam; I was just going along with him because I didn't want him to be mad at me.
You see, when Trista got that "makeover", something inside her snapped. She became a totally different person. She was bitchier, she seemed more confident, more out there. She seemed like the person she wanted to be, only more evil. Because she yelled at me when I walked through the door for dating Adam when I knew how much she liked him. Uhh, the only reason I went out with him in the first place was because she PUSHED me into it!!
Not only that, but my friend Jordan, whom everyone was trying to set me up with, declined and said he didn't want anything to do with me after Trista texted him from her phone pretending to be me telling him (daily) all the guys I was sleeping with and that I didn't really want to date him I just wanted to sleep with him. Trista was the one starting all the rumors about me at the bar.
Honestly, if this was 3 years ago, she would have been absolutely right. But now? I have only slept with 2 people since I've been here, and one of them was my ex husband, whom I was MARRIED TO at the time.
But anyway, I told Adam that I needed some space and I needed some time to decide what was going to happen. Because other than what I just posted, he said alot of other hurtful things to me and it hit me that night that I don't want to be with him anymore. He's a great friend, but I just want to get my own place, move out of Trista's, get away from Adam, and start all over again.
With Kevin? We'll see.