Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hillbilly Hump Day (The Storm)

So I took a break from writing my HHD posts, because I didn't really have anything of significance to write about.  Until now!  Happy Hillbilly Hump Day Seeks!  I'm back, atleast for today!

Remember how I said I could feel it in my bones that a storm was a brewin'?  Turns out it wasn't just my arthritis!  Nope, I was right!  And when it rains, it definitely pours! 
So up first, pregnant billy's baby daddy.  I found out why he hasn't been coming around.  He's in jail!  Yep, I saw that coming.  Something like 17 counts of attempted armed robbery.  Apparently he was caught in the act, inside someones home ripping them off!  HA!  Momma and Daddy billy must be so proud!

Up next, all the billy kids got new hairdos!  And they weren't back to schools hairdos either!  Nope, they are the kind hillbillies give their kids with LICE!  Buzz cuts for the billy boys and short cuts for the billy girls.  Man, makes my head itch just thinking about it!  And I told Justin if he goes anywhere near that house, he's dead!  (Maybe I shouldn't put that in writing)?

And remember how I told you that the hb's have dogs, the ones I had never even seen for the first few months we lived here?  And the broken window, remember that?  Apparently they're having issues containing them because of the broken window.  And one of them is a pit.  (Yeah, I'm so not happy about that).  Well their pit attacked a cat down the street about 2 weeks ago.  A friend of the MIL's and he was really upset, because his cat was hiding up under the house and he couldn't get her out for about 2 days.  (Old houses, Riverside, built up off the ground).  Well when he called animal control he had no proof it was the hb's dog.  So nothing happened.   

Then yesterday the pit attacked and KILLED a lady down the street's cat.  Apparently a lady who loves her cat like I love my dogs.  A lady that just so happens to be married to an attorney!  A lady who called animal control.  A lady with a DEAD CAT as proof.  A lady who's now taking the hillbillies to court.  (I told the MIL if that pit kills one of my poppies, there's gonna be a dead hillbilly.  She said she'd kill that pit herself.  I said no, we're going to have a DEAD HILLBILLY on our hands, believe you me)!  Not.Even.Kidding. 

When animal control came out the billy dad showed him their small Chihuahua and said "this is the only animal we own"!  Ha!  He sat there and argued with the man for about an hour over the citation, for $250.00.  (Whoopdy big shit, your dog killed a cat asshole)!  Well, my MIL, being the nosy woman she is, caught the animal control guy, Sammy, just as he was leaving and brought him around back where their other dogs just so happened to be hanging out.  While they were out there about 10 other neighbors showed up and all of them signed affidavits saying the hb's have the pit, among many other animals!  HA!  All of which are willing to testify in court, for the citation and the lady suing them!  HA! HA!  HA! HA! Oh man!  Karma's a bitch for real dude! 

So there you have, good times, good entertainment all courtesy of my hillbilly neighbors.  William and my MIL believe this is the beginning of the end for the hillbillies.  They're going to have code enforcement all over their asses now!  HA!  It almost makes me feel guilty. . . . almost. . . . Ah hell, who am I trying to fool?  I love it!  Serves those hillbillies right for being filthy nastyass buggers!   

Sorry it's so late in the day, I've been under the weather.  But better late than never!  Hope everyone had a great Hillbilly Hump Day!

1 comment:

adrienzgirl said...

Good Crimeny! Those are some really fantastic neighbors you got there Sis! I have seen their hovel first hand and um....yeah! G-ross!

I don't care what anyone says about how nice pits are, blah, blah, blah. Yeah...the lady down the street loved hers too. They ate her face off and killed her dead.