This Hillbilly Hump Day Episode has been interrupted. . . .

So I could bring you a special edition of "Aunt Buffee"!  Being "Aunt" Buffee is one of the most important things in my life.  I have always had a very special bond with my nieces and nephews.  They call me Buffee.  I was only 15 when Kenna was born and it seemed too young to be called Aunt Buffee.  So I've always been just Buffee.  When the boys came along it continued.  Personally I like to think it also has something to do with our relationship, even more so.  I don't think I'm your average or typical aunt.  I never had an aunt like me.  So that's all I have to base this on, my life, my experiences.  I try to do as much as possible with them.  As if they were my very own.  Since I cannot have children of my own, they play an even bigger role in my life.   

As most of you know Sunday was my nephew's (Kamden) birthday!  He had a birthday 'grill out' at his house.  This was not his actual birthday 'party', no this was his birth day, and because of that, it required a celebration!  (Or we could just call a spade and spade and say the kid had 2 birthday parties)!  Either way, that's the way we do things around here.  Period.  And if Laura y'all don't like it, you can bite me!  I went over for his first birthday party grill out celebration without the anticipation of a hard core water balloon fight!  I had no idea this was happening!  Nonewhatsoever!  And the slip and slide was an even bigger surprise.  It was raining and I didn't have a change of clothes.  But how in the world could you say no to this face, and the PPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEE BUFFEEEEEE!

 

Let me just say, that at 30 something, intentionally throwing yourself down a slip and slide is not a good idea!  My stomach is so friggin sore and bruised.  The seemingly endless supply of water balloons did not help!  I think I was by far pelted more than anyone else.  I'm sure the fact that I was the only girl playing didn't help any???  No, it must because I'm the fun one and their favorite!  Yeah, that's definitely it!

So yesterday was his second party birthday party!  It was a that wolf Eclipse party.  And that should tell you my interest in these movies.  (I hated the first movie.  I saw the wolf previews for the second movie and the wolf all the publicity hype.  I liked the wolf second movie.  And I couldn't wait for the wolf third movie.  I LOVED the wolf third movie).  (This is honestly how my mind works.  I get it if you stop reading, I'll understand).

Explaining cavities I can do.  Kamden discovered he had one yesterday.  He wanted to understand what it meant to have one.  He was very upset about this.  This is what I told him.  There's a reason why God gives us two sets of teeth.  He knew that we were going to need the first set to practice on.  So we could learn to brush them and take care of them.  So it's okay if you get a cavity in the first set.  The dentist knows how to fix them.  So from now on, make sure you take care of them.  (Yes, I'm a rock star super cool aunt).

Explaining the mean of a "virgin" and sex (to an eight year old), yeah, not so much!

During the movie~ 

Kamden: Buffee what's a virgin? 

Me: When a man and a woman get married and sleep together, (great now I sound like a bigot).

Kamden: Sometimes Michael (his oldest brother) and I sleep in the same bed?

Me: (WTF)? Um, well, when they're in the bed, they're not actually "sleeping"? You know, they're doing more than that.

Kamden: What does that mean?

Me: Sex?

Kamden: (strange look, probably thinking what else can I say to stump Aunt Buffee) Sex?

Me: It's what sissy did to make Khylee?

Kamden: (same strange look) Yeah, but what IS sex?

Me: (oh hell no!) Ask you dad later, no I mean, ask your mom later.

Yeah I was so unprepared for the "sex" talk to an eight year old.  I wasn't ready when it came to my sixteen year old either, but I did it.  You have too.  Especially if you know they're having sex.  You need to protect them.  Teach them.  I tell Justin all of the time, use condoms.  PERIOD.

Anyway, so back to the wolf the party.  We went to the midnight showing of the wolf Eclipse for the second birthday party.  It was madness!  The lines were R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S and we stood in them forever.  When we finally got our seats I had to use the restroom.  Those lines were just as C-R-A-Z-Y!  So I stood in line for the individual handicap stall. (No, I have no shame).  The girl in front of me said there's not anyone in the men's restroom (pointing behind us).  I said "Seriously? Are you sure?"  And she said she was pretty sure.  I started to enter and there was a guy standing just inside the door.  I stopped and walked back out.  When he walked out Kooper and Kamden were right behind him.  SUH-WEET!!  I asked them if anyone else was in there and they said no.  So I told them to stand guard while I went to the bathroom.  (I looked straight at the poor very young ticket boy with my pleading seemingly helpless eyes saying please don't make me miss the wolf sweeite I just can't hold it any longer look)!  He batted his eyes and turned his cheek.  YES!  How many Aunts do you know that are that crazy??

It's late and I need to sleep so here are the pictures from My Penguin's party.  (The explanation behind My Penguin's nickname)~ When he first got his glasses I told him that he reminded me of Simon from The Chipmunks.  Not just because of the glasses, but he's also a brainiac and he was tall and lanky at the time.  So I told him I was going to call him Simon from now on.  And he said no Buffee I want you to call me your penguin instead.  I asked him why?  His response to that was because penguins are your favorite thing and I want to be your favorite thing.  (Um, have I mentioned how freaking much I love this kid yet)???  How could you not call him "My Penguin"?  I friggin <3 that boy! (I collect Christmas penguins and from that he gathered that penguins are my favorite things).

 

     

 

Stick 'Em Up Notes

Happy Tuesday Seekers!  So I thought this looked like fun and I wanted to give it a try!  Turns out, I really like it and I had fun making up my post-it notes!  If you're not already participating in Supah's Post-It Note Tuesday you should try it out!  I had a blast making up mine! 

    

Well there you have it, my first Post-It Note Tuesday! 

Don't forget tomorrow's my Hillbilly Hump Day!  Stop on by!  I have pictures!

Movies that make me cry.

Do you remember the first movie you ever cried in?  I don't know which one I saw first, but three come to mind, Savannah Smiles E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and Benji, (I was six).  I remember each movie, like it were yesterday.  My parents took us to the movies a lot.  When I say a lot, I mean I remember going all of the time, like almost every weekend.  I know it wasn't every weekend, but it felt like it.  Back then it was the $1 movie.  I can honestly say that I'm a movie lover because of my parents.  

I think I related to Savannah Smiles, not because I was an only child of a politician who wanted to run away, but I was a middle child who felt neglected.  (Which may not have been the case, but I was 6, and these are my memories.  They are how I felt). I thought after watching this movie that maybe I wanted to run away and find some tenderhearted criminals to take me in!  Yes, I remember thinking about this as a child.  Thank goodness I didn't!  I was always a dramatic child.  I wanted things my way.  (Not much has changed, I'm just older now).  I think most children probably feel this way, but when I say I was a spoiled rotten brat, it's because I was.  I know this because my mother and sisters, (and just about everyone else I know) have always told me this.  Yes, even my husband.  To me it's just normal.  Of course I want things my way!  Doesn't everyone? 

The first movie I ever remember really "balling" in was ET.  It was the scene where ET is dying.  I remember thinking, there's noway he can die, he's the alien and the whole movie.  I felt like my heart was breaking, or atleast as much as a 6 year old can feel their heart breaking.  I remember being so mad for crying once I figured out he was going to live!  After that, I always wanted to find an alien and own a red hoodie!  To this day, I've never had either one!  (No, I lied, my husband and I have have matching Thing 1 and Thing 2 hoodies,  but that doesn't count).  And just for the record I hate Reese's Pieces.  I've always wondered why in the world didn't they use M&M's?  That would have made me so much happier.  (I also remember wanting to kiss a boy after watching ET).  HA!

I think the scene in Benji that made me cry, speaks volumes about me.  It was where the man that was holding Benji captive kicks him upside the wall.  I was so hurt by this as a child.  I admit, I'm a crier.  I cry in movies all of the time.  I even cry over Hallmark commercials.  (I get that from my mother).  But I'm also a dog lover.  We have always owned a dog.  I don't think I ever remember a time when we didn't have a dog growing up.  And now, I have 4 dogs.  They are my kids!   

My favorite crying movie experience was not my own.  When I was a teenager we dropped my little brother and cousin off at the movies to watch My Girl.  (I was going to get my hair done for my birthday).  I want to say they were about 12-13 at the time.  When we picked them back up, it was more than obvious they had both been crying.  So when they got in the car, we asked, is everything okay, was the movie any good?  They said the movie was good, but sad.  And they made it very clear that they WERE NOT CRYING!  Mysteriously they both had gotten something in their eyes (wink wink)!  After I saw the movie, I completely understood!  But they were boys, it was so not cool for them to be crying over a movie!  Especially over a "chick flick"! 

I love movies that make me cry.  Not all of the time, but sometimes, whenever I need a good cry.  I cry every time I watch Steel Magnolias and The Stepmom.  I guess The Stepmom is kind of symbolic of my life!  Everyone loves Steel Magnolias.  I think it's on most every woman's top 10 favorite movies list?  (Or should be)!  But my favorite all time cry movie is without a doubt Simon Birch.  I both loved and hated this movie.  I've never cried so hard in a movie before.  E-V-E-R!  If you've never seen it, I highly recommend it!  When I saw it in the theater I was crying so hard, the little old man sitting next to me leaned over and asked me if I was going to be okay!  I mean full body crying, snot coming out of my nose, boohoo crying.  And it wasn't just once, you know the epic sad scene or the ending, nope, I cried through the whole dang movie!  Don't get me wrong, there was comedy in it too.  It was a brilliant movie throughout.  It just had a very sad heartfelt poor boy's life theme going on.  If you need a good cry and you've never seen this movie. . . . do yourself a favor and watch it!  

So these are my favorites now tell me some of yours!                               

Better late than never?

So yesterday I posted my mom's recipe for Rainbow Jello Salad.  Last night/this morning I made it.  I thought I would post some pictures.  Sorry they're a little late!  Turns out, I am not as good of a Jello maker as my mother!  I do not recommend using the "disposable" tin containers to make the red/blue jello in.  I bought these thinking they would be perfect, yeah, not so much!  (All of my Pyrex is in storage and everything my MIL owns is, well, OLD and not the right size).

Oh, and I think you're supposed to use 2 boxes of the blueberry and 2 boxes of the raspberry.  I had way too much "dressing" and not enough jello!  One other helpful hint, put the lemon jello in the freezer while you're making the Dream Whip.  It will set up so much faster!  I did end up forgoing the nuts and added the fresh blueberries and raspberries as I suggested!  Despite my little mishaps I think it turned out nicely!     

SAS~ "Best" Rainbow Jello

It's Thursday Truth Seekers! And that means my sister is hosting her weekly SAS! This week was my choice, again, (boy, she must really love me), so I guess I have to participate!  Just kidding, I love her SAS! 


Let me start off by saying I'm a lover of all things sweet! I have sweet teeth instead of a sweet tooth. I kid you not! Lately I've been on a milkshake kick. And sitting next to a pregnant woman at work is not helping! I think I'm having sympathy cravings! Oh, and screw you Sonic for having your milkshakes B1G1! My ass really thanks you!

I'm not really a baker, I'm more of a let's go to Brandee's and eat whatever she's baking kind of girl! For Christmas this past year she baked our presents, and let me just say, they were H-E-A-V-E-N! So why I wanted dessert recipes I'll never know? Maybe so she could bake/make them for me?!


I've had plenty of time to think about what to share and I kept coming back to this recipe. It reminds me of my childhood!  It's my mom's and it's a "Best" family favorite. Forget what my sister says, everyone else loves this! Especially kids, because it's jello! My mom always makes this at Christmas time. Always, EVERY single Christmas. I'm changing it just a little. . . because I'm going with a 4th of July theme!


What you will need for "Rainbow Jello Salad"

1 box blue berry Jello (lime for Christmas)

1 box raspberry Jello (cherry for (Christmas)

1 box lemon Jello

1 box Dream Whip (requires milk and vanilla)

1 8 oz block of cream cheese

1 cup chopped nuts (I like walnuts)

To start prepare the blueberry and raspberry jello the night before.  You will need plenty of time to let the jello set up.  Follow the directions on the box, with one exception, use 3/4 cup of cold water instead of 1 cup.  (This will help your jello squares stay firm).  When preparing be sure you have enough space in your fridge for both the red and blue jello to sit level.  You want even squares. 

(Set the cream cheese out the night before, so it will be at room temperature).  (It will not hurt it, I promise, I've been eating this stuff for 33 years, and I'm still alive)!   

The lemon jello is part of the "dressing".  It will need to be prepared the following morning/day of.  When making the lemon jello, instead of adding 1 cup of cold water, add 1/2 cup of ice cubes.  This can be made in a bowl, it will not need to "get firm" only slightly "set up".  Place in the fridge for cooling, until you have the other ingredients ready.  

Next prepare both envelopes of the Dream Whip according to the package directions.  Once the Dream Whip is ready, add the (room temperature) cream cheese and the lemon jello.  Mix until creamy and smooth.

Next you'll need to cut the blueberry and raspberry jello into small bite size squares, no more than an inch.  In a large bowl slowly fold jello squares with the Dream Whip/cream cheese/lemon jello mixture.  If you do this correctly, your squares will not "bleed"!  Pour into large container (something plastic with a lid or a pretty serve bowl, whatever makes you happy) and top with chopped nuts.  (You can substitute pecans for walnuts)!  You might even want to add some fresh blueberries and raspberries to this!  Go wild and crazy!  (If you do, let me know how it works out)!   

This is a crowd pleaser!  Especially when children are involved!  Try it this 4th of July with the blueberry and raspberry or maybe this Christmas with the cherry and lime!  Any flavors will work, it doesn't even have to be a special occasion!  I hope you love and enjoy this as much as my family does!  Happy eating!    

Hillbilly Hump Day (Episode 4- Santabilly?)

It's that time again!  Happy Hillbilly Hump Day seekers!  Did you miss me last week?  Sorry I left y'all hanging.  I could come up with a million excuses for not posting, but the 'truth' is I just wasn't feeling up to it.  I even had pictures of the billyboys playing some billyball to share with my seekers.  But when I sat down to blog I just didn't feel like it.  Which is so not like me, not at all.  I love blogging about the hillbillies!  I've been in a funk lately.  I'm feeling better now, atleast I think?  Who knows?  I think I'm coming out of it and I'm feeling back to Buffee again!  Yay! 

So this morning I'm feeling inspired!  I stopped at Panera for my morning bagel, (which really isn't a surprise, I go there 3-4 times a week).  This directly contributes to my ever expanding ASS!  I've gained 30 lbs since my hysterectomy last year.  YIKES!  I know, I need to put down the bagels, but I love them so.  We're dear friends!  And I have a bagel addiction!  (There are worse things)! 

Anyway, every Wednesday I see the same old man there.  I've been dieing to get a picture of him to share with you guys.  It's almost as if he knows it's my Hillbilly Hump Day and he's there to remind me that I need to blog.  I think 'The Gods' sent him just for me!  I swear it's so!  (Or maybe he's just dear friends with the bagels too)?  Either way, he makes me happy!  So for weeks I have been trying to capture a picture to share with y'all.  As luck would have it, today he was sitting down eating when I got there.  Suh-weet!  He's normally coming in as I'm leaving or vice versa.  But not today, today he was trapped.  Sitting there, just waiting for me to catch him!!  

I contemplated my options.  Do I pretend I'm using my phone and try to get a good enough picture?  Heck no!  This is me we're talking about!  I walked straight up to him and said, I have to have a picture of your beard!  Would you mind?  Honestly, if you're willing to walk around looking like he does, you should fully anticipate people gawking, staring, making comments, and asking for pictures.  Just saying!  (It really bothers me when freaks people who are "different" or tattooed from head to toe and have a bazillion piercings get pissed off when people stare).  If you're prepared to walk through life looking bizarre, then you should also be prepared for your picture to be taken, at anytime and at any place!  That's just my opinion and I'm entitled to it.  Now I'm not saying you shouldn't do it!  Go ahead, knock yourselves out!  The crazier the better in my opinion.  It gives me entirely too much pleasure to ask someone to stop!  I love people watching.  Especially at theme parks!  I can sit and people watch for hours!  

So instead of sharing the billyboys playing billyboy or any of the hillbilly madness going on next door,  this week I wanted to share with you my favorite Hillbilly Hump Day moment for the past month or so. . . the Hillbilly Santa I see every Wednesday morning!  In the words of my favorite 7 year old, Kamden, he's 'spectacular'!  He was actually smiling for me, but it took me too long to get to the camera on my phone.  Oh well, I think his "unimpressed" looking attitude adds to his charm!  Sort of like the "Bad Santa"!  What'cha think?     

              

Yes, like I've said before, it's the small things in life that make me happy!  Plus, I've learned to laugh at myself as much as I laugh at others!  So I feel no guilt here!  I know someone somewhere probably has a picture of me laughing. . . I just hope it's not on "The People of Wal-Mart" website with me in my pj's!  I'm notorious for going to Wally World in my pj's in the middle of the night!  (If I find a picture of me wearing 'Woody the Woodpecker' pj's bottoms and a tee-shirt that says "I love lesbians" my sister and her husband are DEAD)!  HA!  

Don't forget to laugh, it's life's best medicine!  Happy Hillbilly Hump Day seekers!

I bleed TEAL!

It's official, we're season ticket holders, again!  I LOVE the Jacksonville Jaguars !!  I love football, period.  Everything about it!  As a little girl I grew up watching the Denver Broncos and the San Francisco 49er's with my dad.  Those were 'his' teams.  (He's from out west).  But the Jaguars. . . the Jaguars are 'my' team!  I was a senior in high school when Jacksonville finally got a team of their very own and I have been a fan ever since. 

(That's me wearing William's hat)!

 

Football is something that William and I love to do together.  Back during our VERY short courtship (we only dated 2 months before getting married), it's one of the first things we started doing together.  We like to do everything from watching the draft, (yes, I totally get into it), to watching all of the highlights and the game replays.  We even listen to the Jags radio show.  Sad, but true!  

There's nothing like going to the live games in my opinion!  (Though I admit staying home and watching them on the big screen, in HD, with all of the comforts of home, has been nice).  But I prefer going to the games.  I love walking into the stadium with the crowds.  I love being there for the opening, the National Anthem, and the flyover!  Oh, the flyovers!  The games would not be the same without them!  The first time I experienced one, I actually ducked, it was so loud!     

For those of you who are not local to Jacksonville (Brandee, no I'm not fooling myself, I know you're my only "follower"), the majority of the Jags home games are blacked out here.  Due to ticket sales, or lack there of!  Last year we spent most of the season listening to the games on the radio.  Which was sort of retro cool in it's own way.  But this year, if you want the NFL. . .  then go to the NFL!  HA!  William's under the impression that if ticket sales do not pick up soon, that we're going to be losing the Jaguars.  So we decided to get season tickets again this year, (actually we bought tickets for the next 3 years), to do our part to help out 'our' team!  Even though William will be working during the majority of the games.  I will still be going and taking either family (aka Kooper or Justin) or maybe a friend.  I'd rather be going with my sweetheart, but I'm super stoked about being able to take Kooper!  I think he's almost as excited as I am.  We decided that taking him to the games would be his reward for making such good grades.  (I know, I'm like the coolest Aunt, EVER)!  He's finally to that age where boys start watching and playing sports.  (Kamden on the other hand. . . not so much. . .  so for his good grades, we're taking him to Harry Potter, at Universal Studios IOA)!  See, I told you, coolest aunt E-V-E-R!            

Anyways, back to my Jaguars. . . . Friday William surprised me with a trip to the stadium to take a looksee at our seats.  He picked them out.  I think he did a great job, but I'll have to let you know once I've actually gone to a game and experienced them first hand!  But for now, I love them!  And I love my crazy football fanatic loving husband for making it possible, even if he can't go with me.  

Pictures from our trip for your viewing pleasure!   

   

This way . . .

Our section

Our seats

Our view

The real reason for our seat location

Yes, he wanted to sit next to the Bud Zone!  That's the view from our seats.  Too bad he stopped drinking! Jagtard! 

Football season will be here before we know it!  I'm going to the NFL! 

parenting 101

Being a first time mother stepmother, to a teenager, comes with serious challenges.  When your children are born, you have years to get to know each child.  You develop a certain bond, you know that child, inside and out.  You've been there every single step of their way.  They're a part of you.  You made them.  Because of that you love them unconditionally.  Then later on, down the road, you might get remarried or "cohabitate" with another person that has their own children.  So you're now a parent with stepchildren.  Because you had your own children, you love your new stepchildren with a more patient love.  Because you have experience.  I have never had that.  I've never created a child to know that kind of love.  A piece of me has never become someone else, a new being.  I don't know that love.  I never will.  So my love for Justin comes only from the dream of knowing that kind of love.  It's not unconditional, because I've never know that love.  (Yes my parents show me unconditional love.  Yes I love my husband unconditionally.  But that is a different kind of love.).  Atleast it is for me.  I love him because I have to.  Not because it comes naturally or because I want to.  I've had to make myself.  It doesn't mean that I don't.  It's just hard for me.

So my parenting is all my own.  My child came to me at the age of 15.  I knew him before that.  He'd spent the night.  But he didn't move in with me until 1 month after my hysterectomy.  1 month after I lost my dream of ever becoming a "mother".  It was emotional.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to live through.  And now I have a 15 year old teenager, attitude and all, moving in with me.  That I'm supposed to love.  And do this unconditionally, while I grieve my lifelong dream of becoming a mother. 

Hmmmm . . . . what to do.  I like him about as much as I like a roommate that I cannot stand, who's disgusting, and smelly, lazy, questions everything I say, shares my only bathroom (BOY), who's never been taught anything, ever.  (I'm not kidding, I'm speaking 100% as honest as anything I've ever said in my life.  Literally, he was never taught to do anything).  He smokes pot.  Has sex.  This is the only child teenager I'm ever going to parent.  This is my life!

Justin didn't need a parent.  He was grown and I was never going to "mother" him.  So I had to become a motherly, positive female influence, "wise" guiding friend, to my stepchild son.  I'm learning as I go.  I've already made some huge mistakes.  But in the end, my goal, is to NOT screw him up, anymore than he already is!  To accept him just as he is.  To help him make good life choices.  To make him my family.  Because he's a part of my forever family.

I'm older than you, I'm responsible for you, I pay your bills, buy your food, clean your clothes, provide a roof over your head, cook for you, etc, etc, etc.  You're going to respect me.  I'm going to respect you.  But my idea of respect and your idea of respect are completely different.  You're going to do you chores.  Which consist of washing the dishes and taking the trash out.  Period.  This is not up for discussion.  I do everything else.  This is not asking too much of you.  Period.

We have gone round and round over this subject.  I have talked, pleaded, "disciplined", taken things away, rewarded.  I've tried everything.  But I don't want him to hate me.  So I have to be the bad guy, but find a way to get through to him.  On his level.  It's been very difficult.  The other day he was asked, again, by his grandmother to wash the dishes.  The 3 of us got into it because he started giving Laura lip over not being asked nicely.  Seriously Justin?  WTF?  You live in our house, we with supply you with all the creature comforts of a home and the luxuries of being an only teenage child.  And you're going to tell us to ask you nicely?  You know this is YOUR responsibility.  Laura and I worked all day.  ALL DAY.  Laura just worked in a roach and mold infested house pulling down old wallpaper in the 100 degree heat with no air conditioning and I have a broken toe.  What did you do today?  What's that, you SLEPT all damn day?  And before that you stayed up ALL night playing video games.  And I'm supposed to ask you nicely to wash the dishes so I can stand up with my broken toe to make you dinner?  I wanted to slap his face.  I was so flipping pissed off, I was seeing red.  My blood was literally boiling and steam was coming out of my ears.  I'm almost positive I looked like something out of the Exorcist!

I left the house.  I called William.  He told me, you're his stepmother now, you need to learn to handle this Buffee.  Fine.  But I don't want any crap over my parenting skills.  Nonewhatsoever!  Justin LOVES Popeye's.  We needed dinner.  I was not cooking after all of this.  I went and bought me and Laura dinner at Popeye's.  I came home, told Laura to stop washing the dishes and to sit down and eat.  She wouldn't, said she'd feel to guilty.  Whattheflipever!  I started eating and Justin came in.  He asked for his dinner.  I told him to make himself a bowl of cereal.  (Hey, it's food, he's not going to starve).  He stormed out.  Oh well, still not feeling bad, not at all.  So a few minutes later he came back and overheard me telling Laura, if he wants what we're having and wants to enjoy the things that we enjoy, like Popeye's, then he'll learn to do his chores.  I didn't mean for him to hear that, it just worked out perfectly that he did.  He came in and told his grandma to sit down and relax, that he's going to wash the dishes.  He handed me the power cord to his PS3 and told me not to give it back to him until I'm completely satisfied with the kitchen.  And then he started cleaning.

I call this Buffee's tough love.  I did end up giving him 2 wings and made him some Cajun rice to go with it.  I'm not a complete stepmonster.  But I've had to learn that delicate balance of being his stepmother and being his friend.  It's very difficult.  It's a new adventure everyday.  But I have learned to love him in my own way.  We have a good relationship for the most part.  Atleast I think so?  Who knows?  He's a teenager.  I remember what that was like and I remember my relationship with my mother.  It is what it is, but it's ours.

Wow, I never intended for this post to be this long.

So yesterday I got up and once again the dishes were left dirty.  OMG I'm going to kill this kid!  After all of that, we're going to go through this AGAIN!  So I woke him up and told him I'm going shopping, you need to PLEASE have the kitchen cleaned and the dishes done before I get home.  This is what I came home to.

 

The kitchen was clean, but the dishes were dirty.  WTF?  AND there was a note on my chalkboard saying, Don't touch these dishes, I will do them!  Bitches!!  No he did not!  I forgot to snap a picture of the sign, but this was my response!

I thought once again, maybe he'll get the picture.  No such luck.  This morning I woke up to a dirty kitchen once again.  What is it going to take?  I'm at a loss for words and patience.  I sent him a text, because like every other teenager out there, asleep or not, they read their texts.  I told him he had better get his lazy butt up and get in there and have that kitchen cleaned within the hour so that I could make his father a nice breakfast for father's day before he goes to work all day.

Sigh.  It's a constant struggle.  Some days I feel like I'm failing and I'm never going to get the hang of this.  Other days I feel like a rock star of a stepmother.  

I like big butts!

So today at work I was sitting here, as usual, pretending to be busy working.  Listening to my iPod with great headphones that allow me to turn the volume up really, REALLY loud.  (I use to get into trouble because my manager could hear my headphones, yeah, whatever)!  So I upgraded, and the new ones literally ROCK!  I love them!  I have personal concerts right here at my cuby all the time!  I even dance and put on shows.  No, I don't get embarrassed when people walk by my desk and catch me lip sinking to Journey and playing the drums, or dancing to the Chipmunks soundtrack!  It's usually the highlight of my very boring cubical job.  (I know you're jealous and I know you know you're jealous too)!  Everybody wants to be me!

Anyway, back to my story, I was sitting here blogging pretending to work, when I got interrupted by this extremely loud voice.  I could hear it over Pink playing on my iPod.  WTF?  Do you know how loud I listen to Pink??  So I turned off my music and listened. . . . nope, definitely not work related, but it's definitely coming from my manager's office.  (It's rarely work related, just saying. . . . I hear everything)!  So now I'm pissed, because I could careless what, or who, their talking about.  Seriously, I have stuff work to do!  So I get up and pretend to have a question for my manager so I can (1) see who the heck the loud mouth is and make a mental note to never speak to her and (2) make my way over to my friend's desk to shoot the shit.  Why not, the manager's doing it!

While talking to said friend, I bring up the loud mouth in the manager's office.  The conversation went like this. . . .

me: OMG she's so effing loud
friend: I know, right??
(friend doing imitation of loud mouth)
laughing. . . .
more laughing. . .
me: for the record the loud mouth has the worst ass I've ever seen on a woman!
friend: really?  I've never noticed?
(friend is a guy)
me: how could you not??  maybe it's because she doesn't have one??
more laughing

manager: Buffee did you need something
(we never get to have fun)

Then I went to lunch with another friend.  Here's how that conversation went. . .

me: did you hear that loud mouth in our manager's office earlier?
friend #2: no, who?
me: so and so
friend #2: you mean the one with no ass?!?
laughing
more laughing
friend #2: I'm serious, she has no ass!
me: laughing
friend #2: what?
me: I told friend #1 the same thing earlier!
laughing
me: I wonder if she makes a sound when she farts?
(YES, I actually said that)
laughing
me: seriously, she has no ass cheeks, nothing to vibrate the air to make a sound!
(I think we laughed the rest of lunch)! 


I feel justified!

Share A Spoon: Crock-Pot-It

  

It's Thursday. . . . and that means it's time to get cooking with my sister's  SAS!!

One of my favorite restaurants is called Puerto Plata (Authentic Latin Cuisine).  It's not a chain restaurant, it's one of those great hole-in-the-wall type places.  When we go, William and I always order the same thing, Pernil (Roast Pork) with red beans (or black beans) and yellow rice!  If you've never had Pernil, it's pork cooked/roasted until it falls apart, sort of like BBQ pulled pork, without the BBQ or vinegar/sugar flavors.  Instead it's flavored with onions and garlic.  It's absolutely fabulous! 

In an attempt to recreate the Pernil at home, I started experimenting with pork in my Crock-Pot.  I always cook my roast in the Crock-Pot and let it cook until it falls apart.  So I figured why not do the same with a pork butt or pork shoulder!  Turns out, I was right on the money!  When I first started, I used one package (envelope) of Lipton's onion soup mix and water.  It's very tasty cooked this way, if I do say so myself!  But my sister later turned me onto salsa verde and pork, and I've been hooked ever since!  So here is a Usina Family FAVORITE!

Crock-Pot Pork- Salsa Verde Style

What you will need:

Pork (I use pork ribs, they're already cut up for me, but you can also use a pork shoulder or pork butt)

1 jar Pace Salsa Verde

1 large onion (3/4 sliced, 1/4 chopped)

1 package of Vigo yellow rice

1-2 cans Goya black beans

or

1-2 cans Goya red beans (in sauce)

1 jalapeno pepper chopped (optional)

1 loaf crusty bread

Place the pork of your choice in the Crock-Pot.  

Pour 1 jar of Pace Salsa Verde over the Pork.

Top with the onion slices.

Cook 4-6 hours on high, until pork falls apart.

 

The Pace pictured above is my favorite to use.  However, I have a hard time finding it at the regular grocery stores.  It's always at Super Wal-Mart and Super Target.  I have used other brands and they work just fine.  So feel free to use any salsa verde you like.  This salsa verde is a tad spicy, it has jalapenos in it.  So keep that in mind if you have youngsters that don't like things spicy!

  

I always serve this with rice! 

Typically I use yellow rice, but occasionally I like to use white rice.

My favorite is the Vigo brand. 

Just follow the instructions on the packaging.

I like to substitute chicken stock for the water.

 

 William likes the black beans best!

And I prefer the red ones! 

I saute the remaining chopped onion and chopped jalapeno in olive oil. 

Add 1-2 cans of black or red beans (in sauce) to the sauteed onion/jalapeno. 

If you don't get the red beans 'in sauce' then they're just regular kidney beans.

Heat and serve!

I like to serve this with the pork over the rice and the beans on the side with a good piece of crusty (buttered) bread!  Yummy yummy! 

I hope everyone enjoys this meal as much as my family does!