I like big butts!

So today at work I was sitting here, as usual, pretending to be busy working.  Listening to my iPod with great headphones that allow me to turn the volume up really, REALLY loud.  (I use to get into trouble because my manager could hear my headphones, yeah, whatever)!  So I upgraded, and the new ones literally ROCK!  I love them!  I have personal concerts right here at my cuby all the time!  I even dance and put on shows.  No, I don't get embarrassed when people walk by my desk and catch me lip sinking to Journey and playing the drums, or dancing to the Chipmunks soundtrack!  It's usually the highlight of my very boring cubical job.  (I know you're jealous and I know you know you're jealous too)!  Everybody wants to be me!

Anyway, back to my story, I was sitting here blogging pretending to work, when I got interrupted by this extremely loud voice.  I could hear it over Pink playing on my iPod.  WTF?  Do you know how loud I listen to Pink??  So I turned off my music and listened. . . . nope, definitely not work related, but it's definitely coming from my manager's office.  (It's rarely work related, just saying. . . . I hear everything)!  So now I'm pissed, because I could careless what, or who, their talking about.  Seriously, I have stuff work to do!  So I get up and pretend to have a question for my manager so I can (1) see who the heck the loud mouth is and make a mental note to never speak to her and (2) make my way over to my friend's desk to shoot the shit.  Why not, the manager's doing it!

While talking to said friend, I bring up the loud mouth in the manager's office.  The conversation went like this. . . .

me: OMG she's so effing loud
friend: I know, right??
(friend doing imitation of loud mouth)
laughing. . . .
more laughing. . .
me: for the record the loud mouth has the worst ass I've ever seen on a woman!
friend: really?  I've never noticed?
(friend is a guy)
me: how could you not??  maybe it's because she doesn't have one??
more laughing

manager: Buffee did you need something
(we never get to have fun)

Then I went to lunch with another friend.  Here's how that conversation went. . .

me: did you hear that loud mouth in our manager's office earlier?
friend #2: no, who?
me: so and so
friend #2: you mean the one with no ass?!?
laughing
more laughing
friend #2: I'm serious, she has no ass!
me: laughing
friend #2: what?
me: I told friend #1 the same thing earlier!
laughing
me: I wonder if she makes a sound when she farts?
(YES, I actually said that)
laughing
me: seriously, she has no ass cheeks, nothing to vibrate the air to make a sound!
(I think we laughed the rest of lunch)! 


I feel justified!