Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hillbilly Hump Day (Episode 3- Pants on the Ground)


Happy Hump Day Seekers!  

Things have been a little hectic around the Usina household this past week.  We've all been down with the sickness (aka strep throat) and I broke my toe on Sunday.  I have not been to work since last Thursday.  I'm sooo not looking forward to walking around with a broken toe at work.  I NEVER thought I would ever mutter these words, but THANK GOODNESS FOR MY MIL!  Laura has been a Godsend!  She took care of William and I while we were sick.  She cooked and cleaned and ran errands, made drinks, cleaned up puke, she did ALL the things that only a mother could do!  She also drove William to the hospital so that I could drive my sick self to my favorite "oldest" niece's graduation!  (Yay Kenna, I'm so proud of you)!!  William has type one diabetes, so when he gets sick, he really gets sick.  He tends to put things off until it's too late and then he ends up in the hospital.  But he's doing well and back to work!  He is a trooper!  He reminds me of my daddy in that way, he only misses work when he's next to death!  Me on the other hand, what's that, a broken toe, yeah, no thanks, I'm staying in bed!  We'll try it again tomorrow!  :)  

Since we were down with the sickness, I have very little to share with you on the hillbilly home front.  Justin tells me that the hillbilly momma got into it with the hillbilly daughter's baby daddy, (one of them), and told him never to show his ugly mug around their place again.  Apparently the hillbilly daddy (not baby daddy but the hillbilly daddy) told his hillbilly daughter she couldn't use the phone to call her loser boyfriends anymore.  So she walked up to the store and called him collect.  (REALLY, do people still do that)?  Anyway, baby daddy told the pregnant hillbilly he'd rather buy himself a soda then pay for her call!  Oh, smack that!

So, I think I might have mentioned the fact that we have new neighbors, they moved in across the street?  Anyway, they decided to leave their pit bull in the backyard and it got out.  Um, HELLO, not to be a jerk or anything, BUT, we have babies over here!  THREE of them, my tiny chihuahuas!  And it's Riverside, we walk our dogs on leashes, we don't let them roam around carelessly!  Move to Middleburg if you want to let your pits roam wild, (just saying)!  Anyway, so Laura decides she's going to walk over and ask the neighbor to kindly put his dog back up.  But the dog chased her out of the yard!  (Old lady running from a pit bull, funny, but it gets better)!  So Laura comes back home and calls the cops.  (Yes, I stand by her decision to call, we have lots of tiny dogs being walked around here, LOTS of Chis and Yorkies).  In the meantime the baby billy, Dillon, decides he's going to go over and knock on the neighbors door.  Laura tried telling him it wasn't a good idea, that he should just wait and let the cops handle it!  Picture if you will, a very short, and I mean short, (he's a runt), hillbilly boy wearing his "pants on the ground" (you know how they wear their pants almost to their knees nowadays) walking with his hillbilly attitude towards the yard with the now "hiding" pit bull!  When that pit caught sight of him and I tell you he was running for his life, with his "pants on the ground" I mean he was running for his life with his "pants on the ground"!!  OMG!  5 more seconds and that pit would have had him some baby billy butt!  He barely escaped by the hairs of his hillbilly bunbuns!  I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life!  It almost made up for the JERKS coming home and trying to say how sweet their pit bull is and how it would NEVER "hurt a fly" BS!  The same crap ALL pit owners claim!  Whatever, keep your stupid dog in your house and on a leash!  (And for all you baby billies out there keep your pants on your buns and stay away from the "hiding" pit bulls)! 

Well there you have it seekers!  Let's do the humpty hump!  I hope everyone has a great Hillbilly Hump Day!! 
      

4 comments:

adrienzgirl said...

The lady down the street thought her pits were all sweet too. Then, the ate her face off and killed her. Yeah, that's a true story. Right down the street from me. IDIOTS!

Nancy C said...

I hate pit pulls. Don't care if it's not PC, it's the damn truth.

Baby Daddy would rather buy a soda! HA!

The Mueller Family said...

Pure entertainment!!!! I would LOVE to live where you do:)

gayle said...

I am afraid of pit bulls!!