Wednesday, June 30, 2010

This Hillbilly Hump Day Episode has been interrupted. . . .

So I could bring you a special edition of "Aunt Buffee"!  Being "Aunt" Buffee is one of the most important things in my life.  I have always had a very special bond with my nieces and nephews.  They call me Buffee.  I was only 15 when Kenna was born and it seemed too young to be called Aunt Buffee.  So I've always been just Buffee.  When the boys came along it continued.  Personally I like to think it also has something to do with our relationship, even more so.  I don't think I'm your average or typical aunt.  I never had an aunt like me.  So that's all I have to base this on, my life, my experiences.  I try to do as much as possible with them.  As if they were my very own.  Since I cannot have children of my own, they play an even bigger role in my life.   

As most of you know Sunday was my nephew's (Kamden) birthday!  He had a birthday 'grill out' at his house.  This was not his actual birthday 'party', no this was his birth day, and because of that, it required a celebration!  (Or we could just call a spade and spade and say the kid had 2 birthday parties)!  Either way, that's the way we do things around here.  Period.  And if Laura y'all don't like it, you can bite me!  I went over for his first birthday party grill out celebration without the anticipation of a hard core water balloon fight!  I had no idea this was happening!  Nonewhatsoever!  And the slip and slide was an even bigger surprise.  It was raining and I didn't have a change of clothes.  But how in the world could you say no to this face, and the PPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEE BUFFEEEEEE!


Let me just say, that at 30 something, intentionally throwing yourself down a slip and slide is not a good idea!  My stomach is so friggin sore and bruised.  The seemingly endless supply of water balloons did not help!  I think I was by far pelted more than anyone else.  I'm sure the fact that I was the only girl playing didn't help any???  No, it must because I'm the fun one and their favorite!  Yeah, that's definitely it!

So yesterday was his second party birthday party!  It was a that wolf Eclipse party.  And that should tell you my interest in these movies.  (I hated the first movie.  I saw the wolf previews for the second movie and the wolf all the publicity hype.  I liked the wolf second movie.  And I couldn't wait for the wolf third movie.  I LOVED the wolf third movie).  (This is honestly how my mind works.  I get it if you stop reading, I'll understand).

Explaining cavities I can do.  Kamden discovered he had one yesterday.  He wanted to understand what it meant to have one.  He was very upset about this.  This is what I told him.  There's a reason why God gives us two sets of teeth.  He knew that we were going to need the first set to practice on.  So we could learn to brush them and take care of them.  So it's okay if you get a cavity in the first set.  The dentist knows how to fix them.  So from now on, make sure you take care of them.  (Yes, I'm a rock star super cool aunt).

Explaining the mean of a "virgin" and sex (to an eight year old), yeah, not so much!

During the movie~ 
Kamden: Buffee what's a virgin? 
Me: When a man and a woman get married and sleep together, (great now I sound like a bigot).
Kamden: Sometimes Michael (his oldest brother) and I sleep in the same bed?
Me: (WTF)? Um, well, when they're in the bed, they're not actually "sleeping"? You know, they're doing more than that.
Kamden: What does that mean?
Me: Sex?
Kamden: (strange look, probably thinking what else can I say to stump Aunt Buffee) Sex?
Me: It's what sissy did to make Khylee?
Kamden: (same strange look) Yeah, but what IS sex?
Me: (oh hell no!) Ask you dad later, no I mean, ask your mom later.

Yeah I was so unprepared for the "sex" talk to an eight year old.  I wasn't ready when it came to my sixteen year old either, but I did it.  You have too.  Especially if you know they're having sex.  You need to protect them.  Teach them.  I tell Justin all of the time, use condoms.  PERIOD.

Anyway, so back to the wolf the party.  We went to the midnight showing of the wolf Eclipse for the second birthday party.  It was madness!  The lines were R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S and we stood in them forever.  When we finally got our seats I had to use the restroom.  Those lines were just as C-R-A-Z-Y!  So I stood in line for the individual handicap stall. (No, I have no shame).  The girl in front of me said there's not anyone in the men's restroom (pointing behind us).  I said "Seriously? Are you sure?"  And she said she was pretty sure.  I started to enter and there was a guy standing just inside the door.  I stopped and walked back out.  When he walked out Kooper and Kamden were right behind him.  SUH-WEET!!  I asked them if anyone else was in there and they said no.  So I told them to stand guard while I went to the bathroom.  (I looked straight at the poor very young ticket boy with my pleading seemingly helpless eyes saying please don't make me miss the wolf sweeite I just can't hold it any longer look)!  He batted his eyes and turned his cheek.  YES!  How many Aunts do you know that are that crazy??

It's late and I need to sleep so here are the pictures from My Penguin's party.  (The explanation behind My Penguin's nickname)~ When he first got his glasses I told him that he reminded me of Simon from The Chipmunks.  Not just because of the glasses, but he's also a brainiac and he was tall and lanky at the time.  So I told him I was going to call him Simon from now on.  And he said no Buffee I want you to call me your penguin instead.  I asked him why?  His response to that was because penguins are your favorite thing and I want to be your favorite thing.  (Um, have I mentioned how freaking much I love this kid yet)???  How could you not call him "My Penguin"?  I friggin <3 that boy! (I collect Christmas penguins and from that he gathered that penguins are my favorite things).




adrienzgirl said...

Boy those are some handsome little guys! They are so dang cute! Not that I am BIASED or anything.

And the wolf? OH ME OH MY! *swoon*

gayle said...

Love your pictures!! What a sweet auntie you are!!!

Nancy C said...

The story of why you call him Penguin is so sweet.

Ugh...the sex talk? Awkward! And he ambushed you in the movie too!